If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
