you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
