____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i dont even know how to be here
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think your dad took our porno
My breasts were aching with rage.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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