I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
