dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
