I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
