Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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