You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
