...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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