Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
