Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
