i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
