he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the gays at disneyland are vicious
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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