WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
