My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
