you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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