She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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