Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just gift wrapped bread.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
