I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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