i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
