It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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