Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
