Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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