I want to stick my p in your. b.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
