I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
