Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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