I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
