yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
