She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
