My first STD was from a foam party
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
