Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
