I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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