Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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