man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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