i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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