ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
