well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
