Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize