5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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