singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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