I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
