Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
