Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
