How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
im on a boat
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