real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
