Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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