porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
