You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
