Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
