a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
