Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
