Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
