Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
