I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
