that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
pray to the hookup gods
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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