Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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