then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
