you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
