worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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